Has anyone or anything stopped you from doing what you really wanted to do? Perhaps you were persuaded by well-meaning people in your life, not to pursue something because it looked too risky? Perhaps you had a really good reason for stopping, or maybe you had just convinced yourself that it was never meant to be?
But taking chances is a large portion of what makes us successful, it gives us opportunities in life, helps shape our character, and every experience helps to enrich our lives. So why do we fear the unknown so much?
We are all conditioned by fear, but an essential aspect of understanding this human condition is to learn the nature of this conditioning, its benefits as well as its restrictions, and most importantly, what lies beyond them. Once you have explored these aspects further, you will find a number of options are available to you when it comes to facing your fears and insecurities.
Instead of identifying with mental-emotional states which tell us that we are afraid, scared, worried, upset, frustrated, doubtful, confused etc, we can remind ourselves that they are only temporary mental states, they are not who we really are, they are just changing conditions of the mind which ebb and flow like the movement of our breath. But as long as we keep believing in them, we will react to them and identify them as ourselves and this is what can paralyse us .
1. Choose to be more open about any new things, and opportunities that come your way – Be guided by your own aspirations and dreams, and don’t be coerced by others who may distract you away from your goals. It is never too late to overcome your fear so you can broaden your perspective on new horizons
2. Develop a more positive attitude – Examine your attitude to taking chances, and challenge your core beliefs. Program yourself to see that ‘moving on’ is more of an opportunity and a challenge, which will make you a much stronger and better person
3. Find out as much as you can – The more information you have about your fears, the more prepared you will be to deal with them. Define your goals and take time to think things through in a structured way, rather than worrying about the ‘what if’s’.
4. Express your feelings – Face up to your fears and anxieties, and abandon those images of yourself failing. Keep in mind that you are on your way to developing into the best person that you can be.
5. Fear of Failure – Change the ‘F’ word from ‘Failure’ to ‘Feedback ! This way you can never fail! As getting feedback on something that didn’t go so well, enables you to find new ways in which to improve, so you can prevent that ‘something’ from happening again. This keeps you focused on the results you want, and enables you to move forward more confidently
6. Explore and discover what works best for you, and clear away the blocks that stand in your path. Avoid thoughts based on ‘should’ ‘must’ or ‘have to’
7. Develop a plan of Action – Explore new ways of improving your situation. Think about what really matters to you. What drives you forward. Set up those goals, choose your priorities, and decide how you want to spend your time. Your passion must be strong enough to withstand even the criticisms of those you are close to. So set up whatever is necessary to kick your goals into overdrive and go for it! Try to visualize the result you want to achieve, and stay focused.
8. Look after your health – It is important to eat well and healthily during periods of change or moving on, and also remember to take regular exercise to keep your mind alert.
Cognitive Behavioural Coach